Because sufficiency is a lost art in living and business, we are constantly experimenting on ourselves. Everything we offer to our clients comes from the laboratories at Seven Stones and emerges from the quiet voices in our hearts, guts and the far reaches of our minds. Recently, it came to be in our circle that we are not just three, we are 10. It has become clearer and clearer that our families, husbands and children – and really, the whole fabric of our communities and the world, though we admittedly do not live in that latter awareness consistently – are part of our laboratory, part of our circle, part of this experiment.
This week, in the face of morning sickness (aka all-the-day sickness), Jen Cohen offered me support. Food or whisking Maxine away. I chose childcare. In fact, I said, I had just that morning fantasized about Sophia, her daughter and her babysitter coming to take Maxine for the day. Next morning, before 8 we got a call from Jen. Calling to see if we can make that work honey, she says. Really? Can it be that easy. It pretty much was. It got my husband involved, and it required Jen to drive to my house to get Sophia (the lovely babysitter lives near me and they adventured this way – we live 40 minutes apart, a barrier getting less opaque). So, yes, some effort of coordination for the small investment of mama resting and getting some work done for the business, Dad getting a break, and maybe most importantly, some serious bonding between the girls and our families. Jen left saying she felt like a better mama. I know what she means.
It worked so well, it is happening again today. And hopefully tomorrow. Then the summer transitions a bit, and like all of life, change will occur, but it was enough of an investment, mostly on Jen’s part in giving, and ok, maybe a bit on mine in receiving what feels almost too huge to take in, to secure a sense of familiarity and love between our families – the children and the men. It just so happens that it is a fantasy of Jen and her husband to have the right fit family for Sophia to have for overnights. I would say we are well on our way to that.
So, when we resource leadership retreats and leadership development programs, we realize we are also reaching into the lives of the families of the leaders. What is happening at home, no matter our efforts to resist, comes with us to work – in the form of mood, distraction, elation, or support. And vice versa. I’ve had countless conversations with my husband about the impact of his work life on our home. It is an illusion – that we all participate in at times and to varying degrees – that we are not part of a web of life, a fabric of social bonds, that transcend the human-constructed divisions of home/work, personal/professional. Those boundaries and dividers and separations are just not true.
What is true is that love conquers all. At home and in the boardroom. Love comes in all forms. You know it when you feel it. The offer, the stretching, the giving, the commitment, the declaration. And right now, love is in the form of gratitude – for the attentive babysitter and happy daughters and expanded connection and quiet space that allows me to reflect on such things.